(cross-posted from jlearn2.0 and adapted slightly for TechStew)
Or is it? I’ve been hearing a lot of questions lately from people in leadership positions about the appropriateness of “friending” community members on social networks like Facebook. These questions are coming from clergy, youth leaders, teachers, etc. – basically, people in authority or mentoring roles, and often people who interact with minors. Many community organizations, youth groups, and classes use Facebook regularly to engage, connect, share, and plan events.
In the absence of organizational guidelines, people are establishing their own social policy based on their comfort levels. I have heard a number of responses to this issue, including:
- “I won’t friend anyone I work with”
- “I will only respond to friendship requests but not initiate them”
- “I will friend someone but use privacy settings and encourage them to do the same”
- “I will friend someone but with the caveat that if I see something inappropriate that they are doing, I will confront them (or their parents in the case of minors)”
- “Happy to friend and be friends – I’m an equal opportunity friender”
I’ve started to do some investigating on this topic and would love to hear how you or your community approaches this issue. There are a whole lot of other people out there interested as well!
I also wonder about the implications for community stewardship. How do we determine, develop, and facilitate social norms that are appropriate for our communities? Is this something that organizations are addressing explicitly, or is it left to individual members? What are questions we should be asking?
*lyric from “Friendship” composed by Cole Porter.
flickr credit: “friendship arch detail” by Bitter Girl
Great topic and an important discussion.
Facebook is powerful and flexible. It can be used, appropriately, in many different ways. The more you know about how Facebooks works (which has changed significantly in the last 10 months – especially regarding privacy settings), the more useful and successful you will be.
Whether or not their organizations have set out policies, anyone in the position of teacher, youth-group leader, rabbi, community organizer, non-profit leader, should have a written statement on how they use Facebook including a summary of how they have set up their privacy settings and under what circumstance they friend someone or accept another’s friend request.
You can do a lot on Facebook without being someone’s “friend.”
An example: given how bad most school homework sites are, a teacher could actually use Facebook for that purpose, creating an invitation only “group” (e.g. Mrs. Cohen’s homework Facebook group). In this example, the teacher wouldn’t even have to be “friends” with his/her students in order to pull that off. The teacher is leveraging the fact that the kids are already “there” (spending lots of time on Facebook) — and are more likely to read a “notification” that comes from a posting to the homework “group” than they are to read an email the teacher sends out.
I think it is better for teachers to not friend their students or accept friend requests from them. It’s important to have a policy that you share with all your students, such as: “I ignore friend requests from all my students.” If you want, you can add, “When you are in college, I’ll accept your friend request.”
Teachers are in an easier situation than organizational and youth group folks because teachers have great access to their students and have the leverage of grades to motivate their students. Conversely, organizers and youth group leaders are always trying to get access to the eyeballs of the people that they are trying to bring to their events. So these folks have a lot more to lose by not “friending” their constituents (they lose opportunities to project information onto their friends “feeds” — and the chance to know their constituents better by viewing their profiles.)
So then you think…, “As a youth group leader/Hillel director/rabbi…, where is the separation between my private life and my professional life. I want to use Facebook as a way for me to connect with my friends without having my youth group members, synagogue members see it all.”
Here is where becoming a power user of Facebook can really pay off. Facebook has totally revamped its privacy settings and its implementation of a concept initially dubbed, “Limited Profile.” In short, you have precise control over who can see information you post for each content category (in the case of photos, you can decide on a per “album” basis, but for other content, it is for the whole category –e.g. status updates, wall, notes).
For example, I might decide as a youth group leader that I’m going to use “update status” and “notes” as a way to communicate with my “real” friends only and use “wall” and “photos” for use with my youth group constituents. With the new friend lists and privacy settings, this is pretty easy to do.
There are some hazards with that kind of slicing and dicing of Facebook content. First, you have to remember what you’ve done or constantly be checking your settigs. Also, these content spheres may not always be as separate as you’d want them to be. For example, a “real” friend will might comment on your “update status” (set to “real” friends only) by writing on your “wall” (set to “readable by all friends”) — in which case you might have to delete the comment from the wall. Doable… but this requires a full understanding of Facebook and a lot of attention to it.
In short:
1. Learn how Facebook works — especially its privacy settings.
2. Have a strategy addresses personal and professional needs.
3. Create a personal policy of how you’ll use Facebook and share it
Here are some relevant pages from the Facebook blog and help pages:
*Facebook help page on how old “limited profile” translates to new privacy settings
*Facebook blog post on the new privacy settings system launched in March, ‘08
*Facebook help page describing “Friends list” functionality